That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
