Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
