I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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