no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
