He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
