my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
