Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
