It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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