My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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