So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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