last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I forget how to act sober
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
