i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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