I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Even my vagina gasped.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
