Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
