Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I would fuck him just for his dog
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
