i just wanna soil my oats bro
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
