yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
