did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
