Who wears a wallet chain?!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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