He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
