when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
