Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
