This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
