how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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