I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
