My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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