Define "chronic" masturbator.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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