Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
People in love make me want to vomit
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
