Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
