i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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