i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
