Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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