Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
