K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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