I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
