I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
