And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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