I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
