Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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