i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
