If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
