That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
