Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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