***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
