Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
