ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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