i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
