the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
