hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
