operation harelip BJ is a go
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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