He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
